Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Today is a bad day.
I hurt all day yesterday, even with the vicodin. I didn't get much good sleep last night and today is full of pain as well. I use a pain rating scale from 1-10 (1 not being bothersome and 10 being the "worst pain imaginable". My neck has been at a 7-8, my headache at a 6, and back pain has ranged from a 6-7. I laid down for a couple hours didn't feel any better and didn't sleep. My neck is very tight, cracking, and throbbing in pain. The headache is dull, but constant. The back pain comes and goes. It's been very difficult to think and I've teared up more than once today. And this isn't even a bad BAD day. It makes me wonder just how much I can put up with. This is what makes pain so difficult to gage from day to day and person to person. I've been in pain to some extent every day for over 6 years. My 1 or "not bothersome" may be a 3 to someone else. I often wonder if I was in no pain and then felt what I felt now...how much I would actually be hurting. When you're used to pain, it's hard to say exactly what you're feeling. So, needless to say, I've been more depressed and sad today. I try to distract myself with funny movies or projects (I love art), but it doesn't always help...especially when the pain is constant and overwhelming. The pains getting worse...I need to try something else, but I have no idea what. Usually all I can do is sit or lie down and wait.