It Comes Out of Nowhere...

The majority of today was a great day and I got a lot done with my husband. We cleaned up our old apartment and nearly finished moving all of our junk to the new house. My job was to wipe down dusty stuff and vacuum...Nate did all the more difficult work. I knew the physical work would catch up to me sometime tonight. It hit me when I was munching on some cereal. It sneaks up on me sometimes...actually, a lot of the time. One moment, I'm generally ok, and the next, my body is tingly and numb, I get dizzy, and I feel like I'm going to be throwing up. I guess I'd describe it as being sober one second, and the next, being sickly drunk....poisoned. Not good. It feels horrible and there's nothing you can do. Usually, I can feel my pain flare-ups coming on and am able to lay down and slow them down. But sometimes, it just hits....like an unexpected dip in a rollercoaster. All the worst symptoms of having the stomach flu and then some. Your entire body is screaming at you and the slightest movement feels like a violent push/shove. Horrible.

This type of flare-up and pain is just one of the many combinations of symptoms I can get. Another type I can think of to describe is the slow throbbing type. It's like feeling a slow bass beat throughout your body while you have flu-like aches. *bum* *bum* *bum* Other pains throughout the body are like pin-pricks that migrate from ankle, to shoulderblade, to knuckle, to rib.....all over. Some are stabbing that can double you over. They hit like a flash of lightning and as you find yourself bent over from the pain you wonder what just happened. Still other pain can be a constant dull companion that keeps whispering in your ear that it's there. There's a pain that I get pretty regularly around my rib cage and when it happen it feels like there are small thorns on my ribs and as I breathe, the muscles surrounding my rib cage get caught and drag against them as my ribcage expands. Another pain is like a charlie-horse, but you can get it anywhere....even your neck. Sometimes it feels literally like your muscle will tear....even though it hasn't. The "fibro fog" that is a symptom of fibromyalgia, makes my head feel clouded, dizzy, light, distant. I forget things, space out, bump into things.

And now, as my insomnia and restless leg syndrome meds kick in I know that it's time to get to bed. I know that when my meds kick in, that all discussions of anything that need to be remembered (such as a to-do item for the next day) should not be had....because, chances are, I won't remember it.

Busy Bee

It's been a long time since my last post and a lot has happened. My husband, Nate, and I have bought our first house! It's small, but it's ours and we're very excited. I pushed my luck the day of the move and the next couple days and overworked myself. I was just too excited and couldn't stand to sit there and look around and all that needed to be done. So, needless to say, I've been paying for it. I've been in a lot of pain the past several days. I spent most of Monday in bed. I've also managed to catch a cold. As long as it's gone before we pick up our puppy I'll be good. Yes, I said PUPPY. Nate and I are picking up a dachshund puppy we've named Cooper, on May 2nd. He was born on March 7. I am so excited about this little guy I could never verbally express it. (Nate still thinks that the main reason I wanted this house was because there is a doggie door in the back. hahaha)

I've also been working at setting up a group on Facebook for my artwork and crafts, as well as a blog for them. I wish I knew more about the internet and web design. Thank God for free web templates and layouts!

It's been a long time since I've seen any of my doctors due to the move and stress and pain. I see my pain management doc on Monday, though, which is good and overdue. I took a nap for what ended up to be 2 1/2 hours today. I know docs say that folks with insomnia should avoid taking naps, and yet I take one nearly every day. I can't help it. I love my naps. They save me. I take the largest dose of Ambien CR as well as Requip at night which should knock me out, but it's still always "if-ee" if I'll actually sleep ok or not. Hoping for an "ok" night sleep is pushing it. When you've tried as many pain meds as I have, they tend not to affect you as much as they do the "every day" person. I'm even taking 3 Vicodin a day for pain control. This is like taking Tylenol or Aleve for other folks. When I say that I'm in pain, I'm not exaggerating.

All in all, life is good. Days can be long and difficult, but I have my art, crafts, family, friends, and critters to get me through it. Fibromyalgia has also given me a different perspective on life. It definately makes you set your priorities. I've learned that if I have to seem a bit rude or standoffish to better care for myself, than I need to do that and not feel so horrible about it. I try not to be rude though. Just because I'm in pain all the time doesn't give me the right to be mean to people. The one thing that I still desperately need to work on is fitness. I've been given a home exercise program and I haven't been doing it. It's hard to push myself to do even 15 minutes on the bike when I'm hurting and so dang tired. But I need to convince myself that the effort will be worth it...and I'm going to be hurting no matter what....so I might as well take better care of myself physically. When we get Cooper, I'm definately going to be taking several walks a week which will be great. Maybe I should try to get back into Wii Fit. I did really enjoy that while I did it. It just got a bit old after a while. "Stop making excuses, Linz, and move your butt!"

Goodnight everyone! I hope you're already having sweet dreams or are on your way there.