Monday, November 2, 2009


I was denied the first time I filed for Social Security. I called a contact at the office and she advised that the next best thing for me to do is to file a "Reconsideration" instead of an appeal. Apparently there's a difference. I don't understand all of it, but I'm still waiting to hear about being accepted or denied this time. I'll keep fighting for it even if I have to go to court.

I haven't updated in a long time because I had really gotten into my craft work and was working on getting a decent amount of merchandise together for my first craft fair, which was on October 10, 2009. It went alright. I sold 8 items. The women around me who were regular craft fair sellers told me not to feel discouraged because this fair was one where most people looked and didn't buy. I was told every fair is different and that I should keep on trying. I plan on doing more. I'm trying to figure out how to make my stuff stand out more from other jewelry makers.

Since I've last posted I've had some medication changes. I've stopped taking Fluoxetine and am now taking Cymbalta. I think it's been helping a little bit. I'm still on 4 Hydrocodone a day to help with controlling my pain. I've also been prescribed Clonazepam by 2 of my docs for 2 different reasons. So it's nice to work on 2 things with one med. My family doc prescribed it as needed for anxiety (I'll explain that one in a second) and my pain doc prescribed it as needed for my Restless Leg Syndrome that I get in my arms.

The anxiety happens to me a lot especially in traffic situations where I'm a passenger in the car. But, every few months my pain gets so intense I start to feel like I could be dying. It's not a "I've been shot and I know I'm dying" anxiety, it's more of an afterthought in the back of my head while being in so much pain that I wonder if I'll wake up in the morning. Those are really bad nights for me. The pain and anxiety gets so bad it gets harder to breathe and it's all very intense. It's the worst feeling in the world. Sometimes when it happens I'll get scared even more because I don't want to die....other times I feel a bit content knowing that at least if I'm going to go that I'm lying next to the one I love. To be in a state of mind where you feel like you could be dying in's a terrible thing to consider death and life like that once every few months. I can't even describe it to you well.

Now that winter's coming, My body is more achy than ever. I've been wearing long underwear or leggings for months already. It's cold out here in Wisconsin! My poor cousin who's used to California weather is now going to school in Chicago....he thinks it's cold now.....just wait....hah. Poor guy. I'm excited that he's close now though, it'll give us more chances to hang out and get to know each other better.

I hope my site helps others. I've learned of 2 other girls back home, who're my age, who have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia or similar ailments and I hope that I've been able to help them out some. It feels like there are so few of us to get this disease at a younger age. Mine was triggered in a car accident 2 months before my 20th birthday.

As for my crafts, I want to get to the point where I can sell off of my blog , but I need to figure all that stuff out. Hopefully a friend of mine who works in web design can help me out with that.

All of you who have Fibro or a similar ailment, I hope you have or soon find a hobby or something that you can be passionate about to keep your going on your difficult days. Fibromyalgia can be a very lonely experience and we need to have our "go to" activities to keep us going through some days. Take care everyone!

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